Sloppy Make Outs
by Al Pacinos
Summary: Vincenzo and Toni are in trouble. As soon as they've got themselves off the hook, both are seeking for something to make them forget.


As usual, Toni and Vincenzo were mortal enemies, both hated each other so much they even write silly text messages to one another from the childish _'i hate u_' to 3rd-grader insults '_u suck_' . The Don himself knew there was _NO_ other way to make the two '_friends_', they were allies, by **force**. So, the Don _**FORCED** _the fuck outta them to hang out together somewhere and build a bond between them, if one rejects the offer, he'll be kicked out of the mafia. And flashback ensues...

**- FLASHBACK - **

Toni and Vincenzo stared at each other, they remained silent, jaw-dropped.

" _So! Do as told. It's simple really, I need you two to get along together, to work together, to HELP one another. Sheesh! Is that really hard for you guys to do?_ "  
>Shouted Don Leone.<p>

" _Umm, Yeah._ " Answered Vincenzo who was bold enough... To be bold enough to answer.

" _See? That prick even said it! I don't want no relationship with him!_ " Yelled Toni who held his gun firmly and pressed it on Vincenzo's temple.

" _**DON'T**, Toni. I know you're good enough a man to kill an ally._ " Said the don, who was sitting on his leather chair, placing his feet over his lap, all chill and shit.

" _The fuck... Are you doing, Toni?_ " Inquired Vincenzo, who was really gonna get fucked up. He didn't move an inch, he remained cool. He knew Toni wasn't like the _rest_. Toni was a _great man_, _loyal_, _worthy_ and _respectful_. Toni Cipriani was a pain in the neck, a competition to Vincenzo as to who will hold the rank of the Capo, Vincenzo was a Capo himself but, he didn't need anyone to _interfere_... Not even _Toni_. And of course, Vincenzo _never_ looked a the bright side of Toni, never, but just now,  
>he <em>did<em>. Because shits gonna be fucked up if Toni had the _cajones_ to pull the trigger and kill a _'made-man_', just like what he did 5 years ago.

"_ Vincenzo._ " Toni whispered into Vincenzo's ear.

" _The fuck do you want, Toni_? "

" _We need to get outta here, and fast._ "

" _... And why the fuck, bitch?_ "

"**_ HEY._** " The Don cut in.

Toni and Vincenzo instantly looked at their boss, who looked quiet angry... And ugly.

" _What's up doc?_ " Vincenzo asked sarcastically.

" _Were you both trying to talk behind my back?_ " Asked the Don.

"_ No. Not at all._ " Said Toni, looking straight at the Don. He then looked away because he was distracted by the _hideousity_ that is his boss. Oh, how he wished his boss to be someone as cool and badass as **_Don Corleone_** or_** Don Falcone**_.

"_ Look, Boss. If we were trying to 'talk' behind your back, we'd do it someplace else just in case no one hears._ " Said Vincenzo.

" **_WHAT?_**" exclaimed the don, he was so ticked off he stood out of his chair, taking steps forward towards the two.

"**_ RUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNN._** " Shouted Vincenzo and added, " **_WILD BOAR ALERT, WILD BOAR ALERT._ **"

"_ You idiooooooooooooooooooooootttt~ !_ " Shouted Toni as both of them trying to get out of the family ware/house/whacchamacallit.

As both of them reached outside and found a safe spot to hide that's far away from the don, they panted, both exhausted and fell down to the ground, in a park actually.

" _My god, Vincenzo... Were you drunk?_ " Shouted Toni, still panting from all the running.

"_ Hehe. That son of a whore deserved it. I'm sick of him, I mean, I WANT to be THE Don instead! Ugh, how irritating._ "

" _...Sick of him...? **SICK OF HIM?** Do you even have any slight of an idea what will happen to **YOUR** reputation, you self-absorbed prick?_ "

"_ I... **Oh shit.**_ "

" _Ffff._ "

Both stared at the starry sky as Vincenzo solely moved his arm behind Toni. Both were sitting and trying to copy like them _movies_, the sky was pretty dark, and ugly, thanks to the _RenderWare_ Game Engine.

Toni was contemplating, trying to forget about what happened earlier, which, he really did because he was simply contemplating, thinking about something _else_.. Something _different_, something... '_Conflicting_' and awkward.

Vincenzo waved his hand at Toni, but apparently, Toni was spacing-out. Vincenzo chuckled and sighed. He placed his arms around Toni, which snapped Toni about what he was spacing out for.

" _What... Vincen-_ "

" _Shhh, Toni._ "

" _You shush Toni Cip-_ "

"**_ SHUSH THE FUCK UP, TONI._** "

" _Okay._ "

Vincenzo quickly pressed his lips on Toni's, which created the most _magical_, double-rainbow magic that's called... ' **_Love_ **' . With flying hearts that go high up in the sky to somewhere, where, apparently, scientists tried to know where hearts go but still failed. Some say hearts magically disappear and other state that hearts go high up in the sky over the clouds to reach a place called the ' **_Heartdom_ **', a fortress where hearts gather there to combine **_'eternal love_**' which, if the fortress itself is complete, love will spread almost everywhere around the world and people will love one another and prevent '_Hatred_' that had dominated the globe a long time ago. But it's all according to studies, we still don't know yet for sure because, ahh, y'know, _**shenanigans**._

Vincenzo hugged Toni harder and lied over him, pressing his chest on Toni's. Toni never felt so.. '_Safe_' and, dare I say it, '_Happy_' before. He didn't want the relationship, the love between them to... '_Exist_'. There was just '**WRONG**' and '**HELL** **NO**' written all over it. Anyways, Toni approved of Vincenzo's actions. After a little while, Vincenzo went even further by stripping Toni's clothes off of him. Toni kept panting, he couldn't stop Vincenzo because he was just, comfortable with this. Vincenzo took off Toni's clothes and kept kissing his chest, holding Toni's waist firmly.

Tony moaned and cackled. It was all so good to be true, but there's one thing for sure.

_**That's totally out of character.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>+ Disclaimer: I do NOT own Grand Theft Auto, Rockstar does. +<br>**_

_... Did this at 8 P.M. Took me a whole hour to write this crack. Guys, I really ship those two, and I'm REALLY jealous of you because I still don't own GTA: LCS. _

_I know this fic is terrible but I was desperate to share, haha! _

_**+ Please review! + **_


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